Appetite For Failure

Last week I made a huge mistake at my job. I played it cool and shook the embarrassment off like water, yet quivering in my boots at the fact that people know I messed up. I replayed the segment of my failure a thousand times and rebuked myself a million more. I even wrote my horrible mistake down to reiterate the severity of what I’d done. But it wasn’t that bad.

I have a problem with admitting failure. Most challenges I have are personal, therefore most mishaps are presented by myself, observed by only myself. Given that realization, I need to be accountable. I thought privatizing my failures would give myself some satisfaction; I would be viewed as a champion and people would look up to me. And they do.

What boggled my mind is how conditioned I am to keep my shortcomings hidden. What exposed me to that is the fact that my co-workers still accept me. I didn’t lose my job, they don’t hate me and they still consider me as an equal. To realize that making mistakes are understandable and a part of my humanity, including my career reaffirmed the fact that I don’t have to be dishonest with myself.

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