A few days ago I was talking to a friend on the phone and she said something to me that was funny, but later made me feel very guilty.”I like black people, but I hate niggas,” is what she said. For a few minutes, it took me a while to register exactly what she meant, and when I did, I had to write this blog. First of all to every person that found my title offensive, It’s good to know you have a conscience. I’m studying Henry Thoreau in one of my college classes. Many of his ideas have influenced me to challenge some of the assumptions I make about my own race. With that said, this is one of those.
The friend that expressed this to me was of course black, but what made it so disheartening is that after I laughed, she implied that I agreed, and not only agreed, but that I advocated this idea fully. And though my laugh was considered an automatic agreement, I wasn’t ready to take responsibility for such a strong belief. At that moment I realized I did an injustice to myself and my friend for that.
To youngsters, ‘Nigga’, despite its century old negative contexts, is a word that has drastically disfigured its connotation, in today’s world meaning friend or buddy. Yet in the black community it’s meanings are so broad, you just have to be black to understand sometimes. And in the way she said ‘Nigga’, she meant the black people who follow all the bogus stereotypes that are portrayed in America. Those twerking niggas, and uneducated niggas. That’s what she meant.
For some reason, we(black people) tend to dwell heavily on the part of us that is seen as negative, just like everyone else, and that’s why we lose sometimes. We classify ourselves within our own subculture. And those ‘Niggas’ we talk about so leisurely would be a a rumor of the past. Unfortunately, I am the first person to blame.